we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
