My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
