Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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