Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
