Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
