i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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