K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
