have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
