WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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