Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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