Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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