what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
this boner is exhausting
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
