cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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