It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
