he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
