Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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