Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Damn victory sex feels great
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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