Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
