is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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