all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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