That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
