I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
