god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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