Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
