If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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