Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
