Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
