I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
