my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
