If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I love you. Go after that dick
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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