Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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