i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize