I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
