If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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