its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize