week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
