Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
