I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
