doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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