I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
