For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
