If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
