just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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