I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
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Simply put, you killed the batman.
One's bed simply does not get to another state.
They use keys? When was this, 1980 something?
How would you know what state the key was for since they all just say Ramada?
The pizza ad on the other side of the card?
not that impressive in rhode island.