Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
