yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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