anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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