I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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