why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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