Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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