Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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