I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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