the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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