I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
