Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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