You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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