oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
