hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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