how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
okay pat passed out under dana's car
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
