vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
