I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
