What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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