Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
